George Carlin's View on Aging :Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,
it's all slipping away. Before you know it,
you REACH 50 and
your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30;
you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards;
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100,
you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"
your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30;
you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards;
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100,
you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"
7 comments:
Joker
I really enjoyed this one. And you know aside from being entertaining - IT IS REALLY TRUE -
I never thought of changing ages this way - but I know we have all done it -
With all of us turning 60 (sometime throuh out this year) we can all relate to this.
As I stated before in a post 50 was a bummer for me but 60.
WAS A BLESSING -
WHY - Because I made it. And I appreciate being 60 even more since my close call last month.
Thanks for this - I am going to forward it on to a lot on non VK
people who I know will also appreciate it.
Echo
Your blog is very good, and I really enjoy "eaves-dropping" to see what is on the site. While one can debate anything, most of the comments bring back a lot of good memories.
Boy, for someone who claims to be having problems formatting, you sure did a nice job putting that post together, gal!
Hope that indicates you're havin' better luck.
Yes, GB, it seems to working right now. I went in this morning and tried it, and it worked right off the bat! Whew! I'm very impatient and when something doesn't work, that I know should, then I'm ready to scream, pull my hair out and pull anyone else's hair out that standing near me! But when all goes well, I'll be the first to smile. :-)
Joker,
Great post! It's all true.
Your last comment sounds like me when I golf, though....
Bad shot - "I hate this #%*#* game."
Another bad shot and after walking over to pick up my favorite club from where it landed - "I'll never play this #%*#* game again!"
Finally a good hit that stays in the fairway -
"I love this game - we ought to play it more often!"
Two Dogs,
Back in the 70's I took golf lessons from a pro for 8 weeks or so. The first course I went to with my husband and another couple, was an easy 9-hole par 3 course.
I took an "ELEVEN" on the first hole, threw my clubs down and walked back to the clubhouse where I waited for everyone else to finish their game.
I have not picked up a golf club since. True story!
Ok guys - No good golf story from me and here's why.
Years ago a group of us decided to go to a driving range and "hit" some balls". Well, I had never done this but it sounded like fun so say, "Let's do it".
We get there and I watch everyone else put their ball (golf ball) on this little wooden thing - they take a stance - bring the club back over their shoulder and "SWING". The ball sails out and drops and what ever number it falls close to that is how far they sent the ball.
WoW - that looked easy and fun so I decide to try it. I put the ball on what they now tell me is a tee - I take my stance - swing. I then watch to see how far the ball went. I was no weakling so I figured I could do what they did.
Well I watch and I never see the ball drop. At this point I realize everyone is rolling with laughter. I was so engrossed in watching for the ball to drop I didn't realize they were laughing.
I said, "hey guys what's so funny? Did anyone see where the ball went?" That's when I realized what they were laughing about.
I swung really hard, I missed the ball completely, and the air from me swinging so hard made the ball roll off the tee and roll down the hill in front of me.
Being as competative as I am this really ticked me off. I threw down the club and as Two Dog said my reply was "I hate this #@*#@* game. I HAVE NEVER GONE BACK TO A DRIVING RANGE SINCE.
AND
Needless to say I HAVE NEVER tried to play a real game of golf.
Echo
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