BoMarGirl
O.J. TALES
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Following are some O.J. "Tales" that I think y'all should know.
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WITH O.J., ET AL
Each year at Christmas time, O.J., Mr. V. and John Clements would go downtown Indianapolis to shop for their wives' gifts. Tradition had it that before the shopping began they would have a "few" drinks. Well, each year the gifts were very interesting and the wives never knew what to expect for Christmas. Some the of gifts were VERY nice and some were VERY dumb.
O.J. AND THE BROWN COUNTY OPEN
The Brown County Open was held at Brown County Country Club and O.J. and "the guys" participated every year. One year, the Brown County Country Club decided to make some improvements and they put in a new swimming pool and fixed things up very nice. They planned a Grand Opening with festivities on Saturday before the Brown County Open that year. O.J. and "the guys" decided it would be a good idea to go down to the Club the night before, climbed the fence, went swimming in the new pool and just generally made a mess of things. O.J. and "the guys" were never invited back to the Brown County Open again. He was "persona non grade" at the Club from then on.
BUT that didn't stop O.J. He and "the guys" continued their own yearly golf tournament each year, still calling it "The Brown County Open" no matter the location of the golf course.
O.J. AND THE CHICKENS
O.J. has a terrible fear of chickens and birds. One year around graduation time, a student brought in 2 chickens to school in a gym bag. Just as the student was about to open the gym bag and release the chickens in the hall (Dr. George Frampton, Assistant Principal at the time) came around the corner and saw what was about to happen. So, the chickens were placed in the gym bag in George Frampton's office. Jerry Dunn (Principal at the time) knew very well that O.J. was scared to death of the things and opened the gym bag, let the chickens out, left them in George's office and shut the door. The chickens caused quite a racket and flopped and flew around. Whenever they would settle down, Jerry would go by the door and beat on it and liven things up a bit. O.J. was VERY uncomfortable and upset with the whole thing. Seems no one knew (or would) get the chickens out of the Main Office or what to do with them other than torture O.J.
Dedicated to CGHS graduates, our friends, teachers and our beloved Principal, Mr. Melvin Vandermeer
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17 comments:
I remember someone else terribly frightened of birds......to the point that the tune, "Remember, (Walkin' in the Sand") by the Shangri-Las would send her packing! (It had the sound of sea gulls squawking in the background.)
No wonder she remembers this O.J. quirk!
I've been thinking that no one would remember my bird "phobia". I missed my chance to talk with Dr. McDreamy(Patrick Dempsey)last year in Indy because I was avoiding a bird. I'm still not over that.
These stories are SO funny BMG! And so rich with "roasting" opportunities . Thanks for posting them.
A few thoughts:
1) A Brown County Open trophy ,,, a small outhouse? an old Sears catalogue? Water wings? A red and white Speedo? With matching pom-poms?
2) A letter from Steven Spielberg offering OJ the lead in the remake of "The Birds"?
3) A dozen boiled eggs, dyed glow-in-the -dark green – artifacts from Mr. Frampton’s office. (a sack of chicken poop would be more accurate but less welcome)
4) Letters praise and undying devotion from the Road Runner, Big Bird, Tweety Bird, Foghorn Leghorn and Daffy Duck?
5) I think I could get my brother to dress up like an Andy Griffith-kind of Brown County Sheriff (lots of Boy Scout patches, KFC buttons, a dusting of donut powder, big Ranger Rick hat) He could discuss Cold Case files from the Sherriff’s Log. Of course, it would be funnier if a classmate could do that,,, perhaps someone who was on the other end of the disciplinary schtick back in the day?
6) We could all wear “chicken hats” during the roast,,, something make of paper and feathers OR the rubber-glove-hat!!!! (Think of the OLD Howie Mandel)
LOVE your roast ideas, PT....could we do the "Chicken Dance" with those hats on?
Bo- Great O.J. stories that are material for "feeding" the roast in Oct.
How can I forget your bird fear! Remember when RS & JT put a dead bird or chicken on your porch? Ah, the feather fear still hangs on?
PT- Love your ideas! I'm thinking...
1) BIRD FLU KIT? Maybe this is too sensitive of a subject?
2) O.J. Simpson connections? ie: a nasty, ucky golf glove,"Get Out of Jail" cards for him & Mrs. OJ, useful for future escapades, Maybe too morbid of a connection?
3) A Caricature of O.J. with your fowl celebrities: tweety, road runner,etc.
4) An "ACME FOWL KIT"
5) Fowl-Weather Kit or Gear
6) A bag of "Original O.J. Chicken Feed" (play money?? or something better)
7) A can of "Original O.J.Chicken SH**" (fortune sayings: ??? Too bad we don't have any O.J.-isms like Vandy's Peoooople....
You know how twisted my mind is... So, please keep me in line! Seems like we've got a lot of good material for a fun tribute to him. I'll keep throwing out the ideas...maybe some will stick! Lots of fun stuff going on here.More later.
Fly, you are amazing! I love ALL your ideas. And Bo, the Chicken Dance is just TOO funny. I love it.
To add just a few more ideas
1) Bird Flu Kit from FEMA: a box of candy? Directions: eat one candy a day after getting the flu. (too little, too late, and not even close to something that would help)
2) Glove – I’ve been trying to write something like “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” using mathematical words. I’m not getting anywhere. There must be something using Geometry words because things have to be “proved” etc
3) A Caricature of O.J. et al: I don’t know anyone who draws that well but I love the idea. Maybe using the cut and paste method like the masks?
4) An "ACME FOWL KIT" or a “Cock of the Walk kit” ?: sort of a “hair of the dog” kit- only with a feather or two, some aspirin, a creative list of lies. “It was just iced tea!! Vandy said New Yorkers always drink that kind” “I told the officer that straight lines go to infinity and therefore cannot be walked in this lifetime”
5) Fowl-Weather Kit or Gear --- a feather boa? a rubber ducky?
6) "Original O.J. Chicken Feed" – or “Loraine’s Christmas Gift Money”?
‘bout it for now.
I'll bet Hot Lips can get some "OJ isms" from Mrs OJ when they golf.
Fly and PT - We need to take this act to Letterman. I'm laughing with tears over this roast already. Yes Flygirl, I will NEVER forget the chicken on my porch....I still check my porch every day for chickens...
Bo- Ha! Love the chicken on the doorstep...it's a classic. We have to remember this episode to JT, when next we meet.
Maybe even JT can "present" O.J. with an "Original Porch Chicken"...rubber, of course! You can pass your Porch Chicken on to O.J. via JT. Hopefully, you won't have to check your door step any more!! I like this idea. O.J. would be responsible to pass on the Porch Chicken one day! Ha!
PT- Great Stuff from you...as usual. You never fail us joke-sters! Do the make Chicken or Cock golf club covers? Can they be made? I know that this might be a bit risque: Cock Covers??? FOR GOLF CLUBS! FOR GOLF CLUBS!, Yeah, right!
I could do the caricature, if you think that it's a worth while, laughable idea??? Let me know. Cut & Paste collage is good!
O.J. glove saying??? Mathematical terms???? Let me think on that???
Chicken Dance with Hats? Only if Bo leads us! Ha! After all she missed the Vandy Man Song...she owes us "BIG TIME"!!! Get out your tap shoes Bo!
More Later. I'm off to the Keys tomorrow for 2 weeks. Keep the ideas rolling, but don't forget me!!
Fly - TWO WEEKS in the Keys! I'm so jealous......how can I think of "chicken & golf" jokes while in my mind I see you in paradise????
I will be happy to pass on my "chicken" to O.J. but he will probably throw it back! I think JT and O.J. should lead the "Chicken Dance"; what a sight!
Chicken Little cartoons,
A year's supply of chicken soup.
A foghorn leghorn fan club membership.
A road runner car.
A trip to Kauai, they have chickens called MOA or Jungle Fowl running free by the millions over there.
A Chicken feather pillow.
Maybe get fancy and a vase of peacock feathers.
Goodness, this could go on and on.
Good Luck Guys.
OMG! I am laughing so hard I will never get anything else done today!
Can I make Cock Covers, Fly?
Not for clubs. Only for balls.
I think that would that make them Cock Ball Covers.
And with that, I will exit stage left -- fade to black-- then out over giggles and maniacal cackling
A codpiece?
Hmmm Cod Piece????? Could we make it a Chicken of the Sea Piece?
I think my wiring is coming loose. I don't see dead people but I do see chickens everywhere!
PT
I want to be there when you wrangle those chickens and put on the cock and ball covers. lol
Does this fall under the ole Cock and Bull stories??
Does this stuff happen with old age??
I'm Back.....
Another OJ Roasty Toasty:
I've got the lyrics for 60's Alley Oop song. It could be a "Mr. Sloop, Sloop" song...I know, not another parody song...blah, blah
...there's a man in the funny papers we all know, etc.
I'm not sure if I can remember the entire tune???? But the back up singers have it easy: "Mr. Sloop, sloop, sloop, sloop-Sloop"
I'm still working on mathematical terms for the O.J. Glove...nothing new there.
Love everything else...more later.
I'm Back.....
Another OJ Roasty Toasty:
I've got the lyrics for 60's Alley Oop song. It could be a "Mr. Sloop, Sloop" song...I know, not another parody song...blah, blah
...there's a man in the funny papers we all know, etc.
I'm not sure if I can remember the entire tune???? But the back up singers have it easy: "Mr. Sloop, sloop, sloop, sloop-Sloop"
I'm still working on mathematical terms for the O.J. Glove...nothing new there.
Love everything else...more later.
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