LET'S START THE WEEK WITH A SMILE

SUBJECT "LIFE".
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're
in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with
"GUESS" on it. so I said "Implants?"
SHE HIT ME !!!!
4. How come we choose from just two people to
run for president and over fifty for
MISS AMERICA.
5. I signed up for an exercise class and was
told loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any
loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!!!!
6. When I was young we used to go "skinny
dipping" now I just "chunky dunk".
7. Don't argue with an idiot: people watching
may not be able to tell the difference.
8. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up
our life we could imply press
'Ctrl Alt Delete'
and start all over again.
9. Why is it that our children can't read a
Bible in school, but they can in prison?
10. Wouldn't you know it ......
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever.
11. Why to I have to swear on the "Bible" in
court when the Ten Commandments cannot
be displayed outside?
12. Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -
and since it's in English, thank a soldier".

AND REMEMBER - Life is like a roll of toilet
paper. The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.

ECHO